aku sungguh lelah

Sungguh lelah...
Lelah hati, jiwa, ragaku

Rasa tak sanggup
Tak ingin lanjutkan
Tak ingin bergerak
Kecuali ke masa lalu

Lelah

Aku lelah

Sungguh lelah

010710

13...is my lucky number

13...

Some people say it's a bad luck number...

Not for me...



Today...my sweet baby boy turns 13...

Today...my sweet baby boy

becomes a young teen, 13 years of age

Today...my sweet baby boy starts his new phase in life..



I thank God for giving us, you...the light, the breath, the love of our lives



Be a good gentlemen

Be a wise man

Be true to yourself

Be what you see yourself want to be



No other presents will matter as much as the moment I have you...

No happiness will compare than to see you happy



Happy birthday mas Farrel

Happy 13th birthday...



Mama-papa love you very much...



08-June-201

Sampai kapan terkejar masa lalu?

Langkah kaki menapak maju
Kian menjauh dari masa yang lalu
Tapi hanya dalam sekejab
Aku tertarik kembali ke dalam sesak


Sampai kapankah aku begini?
Terkalahkan oleh masa lalu??
Takut menatap ke hari depan
Takut pejamkan mata
...untuk mendapatkan kau tak lagi ada
Karena kau asyik masyuk ke dalam masa lalumu
Tak melihatku dalam nyata
Tak pedulikanku dalam realita


Memang aku tak menuntut balas apa-apa
Tak pula berani berharap
Hanya akan selalu simpan sakit dan perih ini
...dalam-dalam, terkubur di rongga terdalam hatiku


Sampai kapan aku akan selalu terkejar oleh masa lalu??
Sampai kapan??
Nyata di depan mata, tak tampak
Yang kasat hanyalah masa lalumu...


-yang selalu dikejar oleh masa lalumu-

020610

Jejakku, sesakku

Sejenak ku tarik nafas
Dan kuhembuskan
Terasa..
beban berat masih tertinggal

Jejak langkah kakiku
Menapak di lembaran baru
Yang penuh hempasan,
..kerikil tajam,
..ungkapan rasa yang terpendam,
Tetaplah harus tampak seimbang
..Tak boleh terhuyung
..Tak boleh ada butir airmata
Harus tetap tampak senyum di wajah

Sesakku kini makin penuh
Tak kuasa kulepas
Karena tak bisa
Tak mampu ku usir
Karena akan tetap selalu datang kembali

Masa yang lalu,
Sepoi angin mengelus lembut
Surai mentari memeluk hangat

Saat kini,
Hembusnya adalah tamparan keras
Sinarnya memantik kobaran api amarah

Jejakku, adalah sesakku
tak bisa lagi kurasa bayang kilas
hari di belakangku
Dari tempatku berdiri, hanya ada seringai senyum penuh palsu
Juga airmata yang tertahan untuk tumpah


Jejakku, sesakku

270510

selamat ulang tahun, yank

Terimakasihku padaMU
KAU ciptakan dia sebagai buah hati ayah-ibunya
KAU satukan kami selamanya
KAU berikan kami kehidupan bersama

Hari ini, cintaku terlahir
41 tahun yang lalu
Walau jarak memisahkan fisik,
hati terpaut selalu

..

Selamat hari ulang tahun, yank
Tiada hari tanpa doa untuk keselamatan, keberhasilan dan kesehatanmu

Selamat ulang tahun, cinta
Terimakasihku karena kamu selalu berikan yang terbaik untuk ku dan buah cinta kita

Selamat ulang tahun, my love
Semoga Tuhan selalu melindungi dan memberkati setiap langkah dalam hidupmu

I love you
We love you
Terkhusus pada hari ini,
Tiada terkira rasa syukur dan bahagiaku


230510
For my love, my life

*FB Notes*

perih

Tiada yang spesial d pagi ini
Kecuali luka lama, terbuka kembali

-perih

-perih

-perih


Kupikir sudah cukup waktu mengubur sakit itu
Ternyata,
Tak'kan pernah ada kata 'cukup' untuk menghapus
bekas luka itu


Dan perih terasa lagi


200510

no longer in the same page

A new page has been turned


And I'm no longer in that same page as you


still, I wonder why...


Yet, I rather choose, I turn my own page


*still coping*
120410

nothing changes

I chose this path I'm walking on
I decided that I would love him
and take my chances
Now, tears dried up
heartaches and sleepless nights
~but nothing changes....

Is it because I'm too deep?
Is it because I can't loose him?
Or is it just because I won't let go....?

Walking through the rain
shaking in the cold
still trying to find his light
~but nothing changes...



*still keeping hope for the best*
270310

missing you

...

Miss my heart beat..

.
.
.
.
.

YOU



230310

I...My...

I hurt but I love him
I cried yet I miss him

My heart breaks and still looking for him
My mind is blank except for everything about him

Decision is made for me
My words has no meanings

I hurt but I love him


~too deep in love with you~

190310

n•u•m•b

Words: lost
Tears: shed
Heart: broken
Body : ached
Soul : incomplete

.....N U M B

18031, Written in FB Notes

keagungan cinta

serak suaraku
sembab mataku
masih terdenger isakku

takut:
akan kehilangan dirimu

lelah:
masa lalu menjajaki kesempatan

sakit:
mengingat terpurukku

~namun
Cinta, membuktikan keagungannya kembali
Cinta, menguatkan kasihnya
.......membasuh luka lama

-------

Keagungan Cinta, memang akan terlihat
justru di saat-saat kelelahan dan kebimbangan


~tetap kan ku jaga keagungan cintamu bagiku~

060310 - for 040310

Do I have to...

....

Do
I have...
To go thru the same pain again
The same time as last
???

Do I?
....

*Bad..a very bad De Ja Vu*

030310

one will...

everyone has their own paths to step on
has their own winding roads to walk on
everyone has their own mountains to climb
has their own valleys to overcome
their own rivers and even oceans to conquer


all in common is that
: all of us walk with our hearts and soul
with no self confidence at the beginning
with full of doubts to what is waiting in front


but the difference between each and everyone of us
one will choose to learn along the way and know what is good for oneself
while another choose to ignore everything and fall

one will gain their confidence, while others become too confident

one will learn to notice and learn about feelings of other
while others choose to just crush everything that comes on their way

one will see the beauty of every scenery and remember it
while others choose to forget

one will seek the moment and grab it, while one awaits

no matter which road or paths we choose, it will always come to
our own decisions, our own hearts, our own minds, and our own confidence

but if we choose the wrong path,
do we have the will to stop, and realize that it was wrong?
do we have the will to mend?

-200210-

I just don't get it...??

The grass is always greener on the other side,
people say
Be thankful of what you have,
they too, say
and yet, I agree to both...

~but

i don't get it when people rather choose
the green grass on the other side
than to be thankful of what they have,
and leave...let everything go...

Being alive is just only once,
I hear
Live life to the fullest,
they say
I, too, agree with that

~but

I don't get it when people gets their happiness
by destroying someone else's
just because they want to live their fullest

Spice up your life,
people told me
Be happy and just go for it,
they encourage me

~but

I don't get it when people choose to go for it
but ruin...destroy...what they have

I just don't get it, when people hurt someone they love,
someone who's been there in rough times
and choose to end it

I just don't get it

310110

I Love You

I 'm incomplete without you

L ove came between us
O nce upon a time in when our paths crossed
V iolet will always be with you all the way through
E ven in your low, rough and tough moments in life

Y ou give colors to my life
O n dark nights, you are the light
U nbelievably lucky to have you in my life

~I Love You


150110

two sides of a coin

we are two sides of a coin....

: you hurt, i hurt more
: when you're down, i'm the string that pulls you up
: you bring the best in me
: when you cry, i wipe your tears
: when one of us is in anger, the other would have comfort and calmness

: when i'm down, you cheer me up
: when in doubt, you make it certain
: when my days were blue, you give colours to it
: we are our lights

we are two sides of a coin.....

we won't be us without eachother
and we complete the puzzle

~we are two sides of a coin


110101

ternoda

Kala hati ternoda
mulut kehilangan kata-kata,
akal kehilangan bijaknya

semua terdiam...
~membisu

pekat, kelam, tak bernyawa

Kala realita tak bisa dipungkiri
hanya harap dan asa yang dipijak

:tetap tak meguatkan raga

kemelut menyelimuti hati
~sesak, menghimpit
membuat makin tak berdaya


010110