Me (2012)

Learning and knowing are 2 different things. Knowing about what you think you know about you and knowing what you are also two different things. I am now..in the step of learning to knowing what & who i am...beginning from what i think i know about myself..i now surely know that: - i am a very independent person, who dislikes being told what to do or how to do things..I'd rather find out the wrong way first then doing short cuts - i dislike being told that i can't do something because it's not for me...if i think and i know it's right for me to do it, I'll bare the consequences...but no way i will step back first without trying. - i am a free person...in terms, i like things my own way..selfish? perhaps...but i don't care, as long as it doesn't hurt other people in any way.. - i easily forgive someone, but not easily forgetting the hurt people caused me. in that case, people who hurt me will have a really difficult time in dealing with me..i don't back off easily and i don't intend of showing mercy...*evil laugh* - i don't like being put as #2 or 3 or whatever number other than #1. in terms, if other people are talking to me, working with me, being with me, i don't expect ignorance. I need focus, attention and dedication..as i will do the same to others. - i can give my time, dedication & heart 300% to the people i love, care and respect.. well, so far..that's me. if i know more about myself, I'll write again.

random thoughts

it's been ages since i last write here... a lot of things changed, a lot of things happening but some things never change, too i found a new encouragement in my life, and since 2...going on 3 years now, i just dedicate my time, mind, and soul to my family, my loved ones & my not-so-new-bonded-baby brothers... i know i only write in here just as a cry out from my mind & heart...but starting now, if i write it would only be for about those three important factors in my life... 120718

aku sungguh lelah

Sungguh lelah...
Lelah hati, jiwa, ragaku

Rasa tak sanggup
Tak ingin lanjutkan
Tak ingin bergerak
Kecuali ke masa lalu

Lelah

Aku lelah

Sungguh lelah

010710

13...is my lucky number

13...

Some people say it's a bad luck number...

Not for me...



Today...my sweet baby boy turns 13...

Today...my sweet baby boy

becomes a young teen, 13 years of age

Today...my sweet baby boy starts his new phase in life..



I thank God for giving us, you...the light, the breath, the love of our lives



Be a good gentlemen

Be a wise man

Be true to yourself

Be what you see yourself want to be



No other presents will matter as much as the moment I have you...

No happiness will compare than to see you happy



Happy birthday mas Farrel

Happy 13th birthday...



Mama-papa love you very much...



08-June-201

Sampai kapan terkejar masa lalu?

Langkah kaki menapak maju
Kian menjauh dari masa yang lalu
Tapi hanya dalam sekejab
Aku tertarik kembali ke dalam sesak


Sampai kapankah aku begini?
Terkalahkan oleh masa lalu??
Takut menatap ke hari depan
Takut pejamkan mata
...untuk mendapatkan kau tak lagi ada
Karena kau asyik masyuk ke dalam masa lalumu
Tak melihatku dalam nyata
Tak pedulikanku dalam realita


Memang aku tak menuntut balas apa-apa
Tak pula berani berharap
Hanya akan selalu simpan sakit dan perih ini
...dalam-dalam, terkubur di rongga terdalam hatiku


Sampai kapan aku akan selalu terkejar oleh masa lalu??
Sampai kapan??
Nyata di depan mata, tak tampak
Yang kasat hanyalah masa lalumu...


-yang selalu dikejar oleh masa lalumu-

020610